Mr. R.A.

Hello Mr. R.A. How are you? I was doing good until you decided to come for a visit. No offense, but you really are not my favorite person. You and I have been acquaintances for a long time. I remember the day we met for the first time. I was a young mother who just had her third child. I was so busy taking care of my family and working that I didn't notice you too much at first. Then you really got my attention when you started with my knees and made it so very hard to walk. I remember my mom had to come over in the evenings to take care of the kids and me. I was stuck on the couch with ice packs on my knees and pain pills in my body. The Dr's. figured out pretty quick just who you were. When I first heard your name I was confused and didn't know much about you and the horrible things you do to a body. It didn't take me long to learn all your little secrets and the mean tricks you play on a body. Sometimes I am so angry that you came into my life. I look back a see all the things I missed because of you. I missed soccer and football games with my children. I missed school programs because you couldn't wait to visit just one more day. I missed playing in the park with my family, I missed going out with friends and family, I missed cooking dinner for my family or brushing my daughter's hair, but no need to go on for you know what you have taken away from me. It hasn't all been bad. I have been able to watch lots of TV and read some awesome and inspiring books, I have a new appreciation for pajamas and now recognize ice as a staple in my home as well as my new friend. You have also inspired me to do some great things. Because of you I went back to college. Because of you I have made it through and I WILL graduate and I WILL be a teacher. You have helped me to become a better person, a person who can empathize with others, a person who has more strength then she thought she had, and a determined person. A person who sets goals and achieves them. I think the greatest thing you have taught me is patience. You have to be patient when you have to rely on others to do things for you. I'm not sure how our relationship will work when I go to work every day and do something I love. I really hope you are not too jealous. I know you will be an ongoing part of my life always. Because of you I have a husband that loves me unconditionally and because he was blessed with a great example of service he now takes good care of me when I an unable to do much. Because of you I have been blessed with children who think of others before themselves and are willing to help others (well, mostly.. it is a work in progress). Even though you will always be a part of my life, you will not control it or own it. You may cause me to have bad days when the pain is severe, but I know you will give me a reprieve at some point. So, as we enter a new phase in our lives, I wonder if you will change, or will I change? I believe that my Heavenly Father has led me down this path to teaching and I know between the two of us we will find a way for me to teach and a way to accommodate your visits. I have to give a shout out to my rheumatologist, Dr. Brodsky, you are the best!